Meet Baxter.
He’s seven, and I am in love with him. We’ve had him for six years, and I don’t think I’m wrong in saying he’s amazing. I mean, seriously. He’s adorable, right?
Like, empirically.
Adorable.
He’s happy and sweet and he sits when he’s told, and his ears go back when he listens and he wants 100%, more than anything else in the whole wide world–even peanut butter–even his stuffed hedgehog–he wants to be good.
This dog is bizarre. He LIVES for the words “Good Dog.” Praise is EVERYTHING to him. It’s amazing. And he’s good. Not just sit, stay, rollover good…but leave a whole turkey on the coffee table and he won’t eat it good.
Cut to two weeks ago, when Mr. MacLean and I move into a new apartment. And we’re so happy! Because this new apartment is bigger and better in every way, and yes…even Baxter will like it more, because there’s OUTDOOR SPACE!
Except, he doesn’t like it more.
He hates it.
And we’ve broken him.
He’s still cute as a button. Still happy and sweet and sits when he’s told. His ears still go back when he listens and he still loves praise. But now…when we leave him…this happens:
FOR HOURS.
AND HOURS.
Like, from the moment we leave to the moment we come home. 30 minutes, 2 hours, 5 hours…
We’ve hired a trainer, we’ve started making Baxter lay on the floor instead of sit on the furniture. We’ve rationed his food. We’ve been firm, stopped meeting those big brown eyes, and even stopped cuddling with him so much. And nothing.
Our vet says it could take a few weeks for him to settle in…but I’m certain our neighbors hate us, because the walls are thin and I KNOW they can hear him. And I don’t blame them. I kind of hate us.
I think we ruined our perfect dog.
And it makes me le sad.
Anyone out there know Cesar Millan? Maybe he’d come to Brooklyn to help us be better owners? No? Ok…anyone out there have a good idea to share?
I just want my puppy back.
February 22nd, 2011 at 2:41 am
Sarah,
I'm with your vet, this is something very stressful for a dog. Just like a human, he is feeling bereft and lost in this new place, and this might be his only way to cope. I would just explain to your neighbors the problem and I'm sure they will understand.
Hopefully after a few more days of this he might come to terms with it, either that or you get your wish and Cesar does show up! Good luck!
I wish I knew of some training knowledge to lend you, but I don't, I will instead pray for you and your neighbor's sanity… :)
HUGS
Trish aka wackycajun
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:04 am
Thanks so much, Trish! Your good wishes are sure to help! xoxo
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:22 am
Poor Baxter! He gets a new home he didn't ask for, and now you guys are changing all kinds of other things on him, too. The food, the furniture, the cuddling…he probably thinks all of those new and bad (to him) things all came WITH the new house.
I'd say stop changing everything else, and go meet your new neighbors with a fabulous cheesecake in hand and apologize for Baxter. Explain the situation to them and ask them to understand he needs a bit of time for adjustment.
Gosh, I just want to hug him! He really IS a cutie pie!
Hang in there Sarah, he'll get better before you know it.
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:30 am
Okay, coming from twitter, sorry :S
Our pup lily is 100 lbs of Akita. I live in the desert. She is fine outside during the fall/ winter, but since spring is in the 90s for us, we have no choice but to keep her in the house when we leave-we can't leave a dog outside in that heat. Well, Lily isn't quite 2, but she's a good dog. She doesn't bark unless someone's in our yard. She's great with kids. I'm not a dog person and I love this dog.
Then we moved.
In September we moved and Lily barks now, but it's not like your poor guy. My big complaint? She's chewing stuff. The kids toys are her favorite. If there aren't any available she goes to their rooms and finds some. It got so bad I put her out when I leave. Well, it might be winter in NY, but we're in the 70s already. I can't leave her out anymore, not with that coat. The past couple weeks I've been taking a Kong rubber dog toy and filling it with peanut butter.
The chewing has stopped.
I don't know if it'll help Baxter but he might be too busy to be anxious.
I know I left a novel for you (lol) but I wanted you to know it's not just you. It took months for Lily to stop barking at every noise, and the chewing stops if she has a kong.
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:35 am
@Cindy – Oh no…now you've made me even sadder! The trainer and the vet both SWEAR that this is better for him…that he needs to become able to be independent from us so he doesn't panic when we're not home. :( But now you make me want to cuddle with him!!
@Laurie – It sounds like we both have the same problems…except I don't have a whole house and so it's a bit panic-inducing for me because of our neighbors…hence, the training. I'm so sad for your poor Lily! The Kong works for a few minutes, and then he gets distracted and starts barking. But thank you thank you for the advice!
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:48 am
It's not ideal, but what about medication? You've tried behavioral interventions, and if they're not working, it might be more compassionate to try medicating him. I had a golden retriever growing up who took anti-anxiety meds during thunderstorms and they worked wonders for her. Or we have friends who give their dog a homeopathic sedative for travel.
Before the meds it was so painful to watch her hyperventilate herself into a frenzy, so I can empathize with your anguish watching Baxter.
Good luck & hang in there. You and Baxter will get through this.
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:26 pm
I always use to let my dog know when I was leaving and about when I'd be home (ie: couple hrs for shopping, tonight for work or late if errands after) think it gave her assurance I'd be back & when (though maybe it was just for my own ;) good) and would leave tv or radio on so the place wasn't quiet and outside noise so noticable for her. (It's strange to now have to turn off the radio when I leave home for work.)
I've heard this guy (http://www.warreneckstein.com/) on the radio numerous times and he seems to make sense & helpful suggestions for different types of pet issues. One thing he's said is to have "special" toys that they dog gets only at certain times (such as when company comes if they get over excited by that). That could be helpful for him, give him something to concentrate on when you're not there.
You also might want to take him around to meet the neighbors so that he becomes familiar with their voices & can place them as "okay people" so if he hears them in the halls or such he isn't feeling the need to warn them away from his home.
Hope he settles down some and gets use to the new place soon. Best wishes.
February 23rd, 2011 at 1:24 am
Poor Baxter. I miss him. That recording about broke me! I'd fly up there and dog sit for you if I weren't otherwise committed. But if he's still barking next week, prepare the guest room :)
February 24th, 2011 at 2:56 am
Poor Baxter! does he have a crate to keep him in? It may make him feel safer. I love the trainer Victoria Stillwell on It's Me or the Dog on Animal Planet. The website may have some ideas. My friends from Col. Potter Cairn Rescue are super amazing and know everything. They may have some tips on their website http://www.cairnrescue.com or on the links listed on their blog
http://cairnrescue.blogspot.com/
February 27th, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Sarah,
I’m a behaviorist in training and subscribe to Cesar’s methods. Here are some thoughts I had after reading your post, but first – please do not medicate your dog (as someone suggested). The fact that he was OK with you leaving the house before you moved tells me he already knows how to be independent, he just needs to be reminded of it. First, how did you bring Baxter into the new home the first time? Did you go for a walk before entering, did you allow him to explore all the rooms (not a good idea)? Did he seem nervous, dominant, uneasy?
You mentioned you feel sad for Baxter, do you feel this way when you leave the house? Because if you do, you’re reinforcing his insecurity. Pack leaders do not get sad (or excited) when we leave. We just leave. You don’t feel sad when Mr. MacLean leaves do you? What would really help Baxter is a routine. I suggest going for a nice long structured walk in the morning. A good morning walk is the best medicine for curing separation anxiety. Give him the opportunity to learn about his new surroundings and drain as much energy as you can. This is not fun time, this is work so be calm and assertive. If you watch Cesar, you already know what a structured walk is. Do that. When you get back you can feed him or he can just go lay in his favorite spot and relax. Because this is a new place you should not allow him to wander around exploring or following you nervously. Over time, as he becomes more comfortable with the new home you can let him explore. For now set limits, this will help him understand what is expected of him. Now, here is the hard part – just leave. Leave without feeling sad, or worried or nervous. Don’t say goodbye, have a nice day or miss you. Just leave. He should not follow you to the door, rather we want him to remain in his bed resting. If he does follow, just send him back and wait until he relaxes before you walk out the door. Be patient. Go out front, wait two minutes, go home – if he’s showing signs of stress, ignore him. If he’s calm, praise him for it.
Wash, rinse repeat.
Master the walks and I suspect you will see his anxiety go away very quickly.
As for the neighbors, explain to them that you are taking this issue very seriously and that you will solve it. I see no need to apologize to them unless they are overly nasty and need to be placated. Instead, explain to them that Baxter is a little unsure of his new environment and the barking/howling is his way of telling us. Let them know that you are a responsible dog owner and you are going to help him.
Hope this helps.
March 2nd, 2011 at 12:42 am
Have you tried leaving the television on? Perhaps he would find the voices comforting and not feel that he is alone.
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