Down the Rabbit Hole to Book Awesomeness.

It's been a long time since I thought of this one...but in a fit of late-night procrastination that involved:

1) a search to see how likely it was that Sandra Bullock could be rewarded for her most recent pain and suffering (is that Jesse James a dillweed or what?!) with a marriage to George Clooney,

2) the discovery of this incredible timesuck (Findthebacon.com), and

3) realizing that Kevin Bacon was in a movie that I somehow have never heard of called Pyrates...

I remembered that I've always wanted to do a blog post about George MacDonald Fraser's book The Pyrates (no relation to the KB movie, which, I might add, looks awful). The Pyrates is one of those books that you read, you love, you reread, and you still love, but it's so different and so odd that you always forget to mention it when people ask you to name your favorite books.  Am I the only one who does this?  Please tell me I'm not.

It's hilarious.  And not in that, "Oh, that's funny" kind of way. It's uproariously funny and ironic and it's the perfect mix of classic hero and stereotype and history and Hollywood and...yeah...whatever I say here will not do it justice.  This, I promise you.  In this case, though, I will tell you that you can judge a book by its cover...at least, it's UK cover.  I bought my copy when I was in High School at a bookshop at Heathrow before I got on the plane to come home after a summer in England.  I bought it 70% for the cover and 30% for the cover copy.  Oh. And the title.  Because who doesn't love pirates?

Anyway...this one is in the must read pile.  You.  Must read it.

Willy Willy Harry Stee....

As many of you know from reading my bio, when I was in college I learned a little rhyme that lists the Kings & Queens of England in order. Useless to some. Not at all useless to a romance novelist who might, at any moment, in the absence of Wikipedia, be required to call on such vast historical knowledge.

And so...today...I give you the poem that will impress your friends, send your enemies cowering in the corner, and quite possibly win you a friendly game of Trivial Pursuit.

Willy, Willy, Harry, Stee,
Harry, Dick, John, Harry three.
One, two, three Ned, Richard two,
Harrys four, five, six.
Then who?

Edwards four and five, Dick the bad,
Harry's twain, Ned six, the lad.
Mary, Bessie, James you ken,
then Charlie, Charlie, James again.

Will & Mary, Anna Gloria,
Georges four, Will four, Victoria.
Edward seven next, and then
came George the Fifth in 1910.

Ned the eighth soon abdicated,
then George the sixth was coronated,
After which, Elizabeth!

and 'that's all folks'until her death!

Join us next week, on Randomness from Sarah's Brain!

Today in Things That Are Awesome...

This made the rounds a few months ago, but I never posted it here...and I can't help but be madly in love with it!

Digital Regency Dress Up Doll? Yes, please! And the UNDERWEAR is accurate!!! Warning: You will lose hours of your day with this. HOURS.

Edited to Add: OMG...There's also a REGENCY HERO Dress Up Doll. I am now appeased for never having owned a Ken Doll. Well, until Aprilynne Pike sent me one. Aprilynne is awesome, no?

Today, in "Things That Are Awesome."

Tweenbots!

Creator Kacie Kinzer writes:

In New York, we are very occupied with getting from one place to another. I wondered: could a human-like object traverse sidewalks and streets along with us, and in so doing, create a narrative about our relationship to space and our willingness to interact with what we find in it? More importantly, how could our actions be seen within a larger context of human connection that emerges from the complexity of the city itself? To answer these questions, I built robots.

Never once was a Tweenbot lost or damaged. Often, people would ignore the instructions to aim the Tweenbot in the “right” direction, if that direction meant sending the robot into a perilous situation. One man turned the robot back in the direction from which it had just come, saying out loud to the Tweenbot, "You can’t go that way, it’s toward the road.”

First, I love TweenBot. Second, how awesome is it that people stopped to help him? It just reminds me that, at our core...people are awesome!

And...Third, he did get there. In 42 minutes. With the help of 29 people.

Word, humanity.

In which the author covets walls.

Ok. So I think I've said that Eric and I are casually looking to buy an apartment. I say casually because we're not entirely unhappy with our apartment...where we pay a fairly low rent for a fairly large kitchen and a terrific neighborhood that we simply couldn't afford if we were to buy.

That said, I go through my moments of wishing that I could sit on the couch, look around the apartment and cackle "MINE!" at the top of my lungs. But mostly, I refrain from doing this. And then I see things like these super amazing wall decals from Dali Decals at Etsy, and I WANT them. I want these swirling poppies... and i want this fancy chandelier... and i want this tree, complete with bird (i also want to be able to keep an orchid like that alive for longer than 6 days)... and, i'll confess (although this will scare the pants right off the Eric), this makes me kind of want to decorate a kid's room. Although I totally understand that is not the same as wanting to have a kid inside the kid's room.

But man do they all make me want walls to call my very own.

in which i reveal my dreams. literally.

last night, i had a dream that i was surfing. in a full body wetsuit. in southern california. with matthew rhys.

in the immortal words of texters everywhere, wt*?

there are several weird things about this. (at this point you're saying, "uhm...yeah, sarah. there are." i know. it just takes me longer to get there, ok?)

1. i don't surf. i've never surfed.

2. my wetsuit had a lovely apple-green stripe on it. why do i remember this?

3. why am i surfing with matthew rhys? i don't think about matthew rhys. not ever.

4. in the dream, i left the beach and entered a large house, decorated in a moroccan theme, where my mother and sister were cooking dinner. when i announced that i'd just been surfing with matthew rhys, they were not impressed, as one rather expects they should have been by one of the three critical points of the following: *i* was *surfing* with *matthew rhys*.

and the weirdest thing? i woke up thinking, "wow. i really enjoyed that."

huh. so i did what most people do. i told my coworkers about this. and one very intelligent coworker did some hard hitting research and discovered two things:

• To dream that you are surfing, indicates the ups and downs of some emotional situation or relationship. You may feel overwhelmed. One minute you can be in control of your emotions and the next minute you are not. It may also indicate that you are going with the flow.
  
  
• To see or wear a wet suit in your dream, suggests that you are slowly and safely exploring your inner feelings and emotions. You may at a point where you are comfortable in acknowledging your vulnerabilities and feelings.
  
  
• Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence.

**There was no entry for "Matthew Rhys."

So, internet, i ask you. What do you think it all means?

5 things that are helping me stay focused.

those of you who follow me on twitter and facebook know that i'm in radio silence for the weekend because i'm trying to finish the book by sunday night. this is how it works when i get so close to the end of a book that i can smell it. i hibernate. i go underground and don't look up or come out until it is done. i try to ensure that this happens on a weekend, so i can take friday off from my day job and really power through. this is where i'm at right now. and it hurts. some writers say that the last three chapters of a book feel exhilarating...like all they can imagine doing is running a marathon afterwards. not so with me. the last three chapters of my books feel like what i imagine the last three miles of the new york city marathon feel like. ie...you're doing it because dammit you won't get this far and not finish, but you question your motives, your sanity, and your will to live the entire time. welcome to the end of a book, sarah maclean style.

so...here are the five things that keep me focused during this time:

1. Cranberry Juice. I don't know why, but I go through gallons of the stuff when I'm down to the wire.
2. Beethoven. Specifically, Piano Sonata 23, aka the Appassionata.
3. Baxter. Because warm, fuzzy dogs who love you even when you're gross and cranky are possibly the best thing in the world.
4. My bookshelves. They are full of published books. Most of them were finished successfully.
5. My friends, because they don't call me. And because they won't be mad when I finally call them. Because they will know precisely where I have been.

and...this wouldn't be an honest post if I didn't list the five things I'm depriving myself of because they are too distracting and awesome.

1. The West Wing. Because Aaron Sorkin wrote that show specifically to keep this book from ever being written. He's prescient. Its a little-known fact.
2. Mike Doughty. Because while I usually love listening to him and he did, after all, write Alex's theme song, his music is not always Regency appropriate.
3. Facebook. I should think that would be self-explanatory.
4 Lisa Kleypas and Julia Quinn novels. Because I could read them over and over and I'm just a severe enough procrastinator to do just that.
5. My bed. Because right now, I could seriously take a nap.

and, finally...here are the five things i will do to celebrate the end of my book.

1. do a little dance in my living room.
2. wear my new, custom made, yellow chucks. more on that later. but i'm too superstitious to wear them yet.
3. buy myself a bonnie cashin bag.
4. watch the entire first and second season of The Tudors.
5. play the new Quantum of Solace video game that has been in its shrink wrap SINCE CHRISTMAS because i am a goddess at resisting temptation.

but in order to do those things, i gotta leave you.
peace out, internet.

One of those days...

One of those weeks, more like it. I've been feeling totally uninspired, which leads to unmotivated, insecure and blech.

But then I saw this. And it helped.


I like Ze Frank a lot. I think he's cool. And I don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate his moves.

from 52 to 48 with love...

Ze Frank is a pretty awesome, creative guy. And I totally heart his most recent project, in which voters from all over the country write notes to those who voted the other way. I can't stop browsing these photos...they're so poignant and touching, and I've teared up more than once.

So...here's mine:

Dear 48,
We're good together. Really good.
xoxo,
52

How to Get a Girl...

Bill Cammack knows how to get the ladies.

photo of the day

i just bought a red umbrella. i wonder if it, too, is magic?

Bizarre Fact of the Day...

Michael Madsen's wife used to be married to Brian Setzer. Yes. That Brian Setzer. Huh.

Friday Funnies...Talk Like A Pirate Day Edition

Via Friendfeed & Savagechickens.com

cupcakes have magic powers...

anyone who knows me knows that i really really like cupcakes. way more than big cakes. they're special, individual bits of sugary sweet love! you can have your own (helpful if you're a red velvet girl married to a chocolate guy)! and you can eat them in their entirety without feeling too guilty. cupcakes are a special new york thing. in other places, people make them for kids birthday parties and school events and bakesales. here, cupcakes are a religion. there are a few amazing cupcake bakeries here (we're talking about places that ONLY bake cupcakes. that's how serious they are: there's the most famous, magnolia bakery; the one with the prettiest cupcakes, cupcake cafe; and my favorite, Sugar Sweet Sunshine. As you can see, cupcakes are a serious business to me. :)

well, eric got invited ages ago to the IgniteNYC Cupcake Decorating Championship, which happened this week, and he FORGOT to tell me! Whaaa? I only discovered that this happened today, when the fantastic bre pettis posted some awesome photos of the event this morning! It looks SO fun...hosted in conjunction with the Cupcakes Take the Cake blog...you should rush over to flickr and check out the photos of all the entries...and the winners (The Biltons by Nick and Danielle)!  They look fun and silly and yes...even yummy.  

I vow I shall not miss this next year.  At least, not unless Eric forgets to tell me again!  

---

Other musings you might enjoy:

The Chocolate Wars

palindrome bob

we've all seen bob dylan's video of Subterranean Homesick Blues, where he stands in an alley with an armful of cuecards and flips through them as he sings. It's a video that has been knocked off, homaged and pointed to as inspiration from dozens of other musicians...who could forget the classic INXS video for Mediate?

Well, today I give you the greatest knock off of Subterranean Homesick Blues...by none other than Weird Al Yankovic. I'm embedding it below...but first, for anyone who says Weird Al isn't brilliant, consider this. Every line in this song is a palindrome. 

Are you kidding me?

Supermarket Singles

ok...so i know i said that i was going on vacation and that i might not post...but i read this article in this morning's Providence Journal and I couldn't help it.

For singles, the aisles of a supermarket have a certain romance to them, with possibility seemingly around every corner display of baked beans.

And for a “how we met” story, little can top chatting over a shared love of kumquats, or bumping heads reaching for a bag of kitty litter.

So the local organic foods market in Providence decided to take fate into their own hands and host a "singles night." 75 people showed up, each was given a nametag with a food item on it. Their task? Find their match. Chips and Salsa, Hot Chocolate and Marshmallows, Milk and Cookies. A-dorable. So. Cheesy. So Fun!

Maybe this just appeals to the silly romantic in me...but I read the article beginning to end...and I couldn't help but grin the whole time. The only thing that would have made the article more fun to read is if it sported the headline "Piggly in search of Wiggly." Yes...cookie found milk and hot chocolate found marshmallow (although there's no indication that "found" in this context means anything more than, quite literally, discovering the other person), but chips unfortunately did not find her salsa...it was a tale for the ages. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes, you end up buying a pint of Haagen Daaz and vowing to try it next time. Which, in this case, for you single Rhode Islanders is in October at the Whole Foods in University Heights.

As a marketer by day, I always appreciate ideas like this...You've got a supermarket...everyone in history has had a supermarket crush...why not make the fantasy a reality? And why stop at supermarkets? How about bookstores? Coffee shops? Sporting Supply Stores? Hardware Stores! Lord knows there are enough singletons out there who would be grateful for being able to forgo the bar scene. After all, no great love story ever began..."We met at a bar."

Salman Rushdie Forced Into The Closet

Best headline of an article ever:

Salman Rushdie locked in cupboard while fatwa police protection team went to pub.

Awesome.

The article isn't as fun as the headline, but still.

Via Booksquare. Thanks!

a silly reason why i love my dog:

when he's really excited and totally crazy, you can scratch the place where his ear meets his temple in just the right way and he loses all control of his head and groans as if to say, "OH! That's GOOOOOOOD. I forgot how good petting can be."  

He's funny.  

off to seattle...like alice down the rabbit hole

i swear i'm going to blog more. as a present for being so very patient, here's a nifty little video that makes me smile:

don't i know you?

Well, she looked me over and I guess she thought I was all right,

All right in a sort of a limited way for an off-night,

She said don't I know you from the cinematographer's party,

I said who am I to blow against the wind.

someday i hope to be known from a cinematographer's party. thanks to paul simon and the album i would add to a time capsule for crafting that dream.  

I will have the penne alla arrabiata

confession. i love eddie izzard. in a borderline freakish way. i think he's one of the funniest people ever to walk the planet. seriously. maybe because there's just a little bit of the dork in him--he tells jokes about henry viii and the great escape and star trek and how grandmas defy the angel of death.

eric and i saw him not long ago play a smallish venue in new york city where he told the longest-ever joke about a giraffe i'd ever heard. and i swear i almost peed my pants. long story short, the giraffes hid from tigers by pretending to be the eiffel tower. weird? sure. hi-larious? most definitely. incidentally, my mother would be horribly embarrassed if she saw i just used the phrase "peed my pants." but, getting past that, if you haven't heard of him and are willing to try him just because i tell you to...groovy.  start with dress to kill. i SWEAR it's worth it. 

so...my gift to you today is this...eddie izzard's vision of the "death star canteen" (yes. that death star.) as reenacted by lego characters.


thank you, internets.

puppetry...on a day for quiet contemplation

it's been a while, i know.
here's a little something for your patience.
xo, sarah

ceasing and desisting

the red badge of honor that so many web-geeks wear with pride is a fascinating item--a sword weilded with heavy-handed fervor by the largest of companies to squash competition, ostensibly. Unfortunately, all too often, the cease and desist underscores the bullies on the playground of life--attacking the meek without thought or remorse.

be warned, big bullies. the meek...they shall inherit the earth...i've heard, at least.

Enter the story of The Chocolate Farm, a home-grown chocolatier in Denver started in 1998 by then 11-year-old Elise MacMillan and her 13-year-old sage of a brother, Evan. Elise had learned to make chocolate from her grandmother when she was 3 and, a born overachiever, she started a chocolate stand at a local farmers' market when she was 10. The stand became a full-blown business--website (designed by Evan) and all--and the siblings now employ 20-40 people, depending on the season. They plan to turn their business over to professional managers in the fall, when Elise goes to college.

So fine...maybe we all hate these kids just a little bit for their drive and determination, but all-in-all, a pretty cool story, right?

Not according to the people over at Russell Stover. According to the Denver Post,

The corporate confectionery, which owns Whitman's Candies, wants the Macmillans to stop using the word "sampler." On their website, www.thechocolatefarm.com, the siblings sell a "Chocolate Farm Sampler," which includes three-quarters of a pound of candy and a recipe book.

Russell Stover advertising executive John O'Hara gave the Chocolate Farm an ultimatum in a Thursday e-mail:

"The Sampler mark has been used by Whitman's since 1912 and has been registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office since 1922. ... Please ... remove the Sampler mark from any and all material that you may be using; otherwise, Whitman's will have no other choice but to pursue legal remedies."

Uh...Sampler...as in, A representative collection or selection: a sampler of American short-story writers. A variety; an assortment. As in...sample our chocolates and worship at the feet of child entrepreneurship.

The story is enough to make us cry out--don't back down alliterative child duo! Elise and Evan 4-ever!

Never fear. They benefit from their youth--Elise's moxie is charming. "It's a generic term. Anybody ought to be able to use it. Nobody has confused our Chocolate Farm Sampler with a Whitman's Sampler." Evan's self-deprecating flattery is endearing. "We feel flattered that they would consider us a threat," Evan said. "It just seems like the most ridiculous thing in the world to go after a couple of kids with a small chocolate business."

Lay on...Elise and Evan! Exeunt, fighting!

Other Musings You Might Enjoy:

The Magic Powers of Cupcakes

Haven't Done One of These in Ages!

1. Where's the person you have feelings for?
that depends on the kind of feelings you're referencing. if you mean my guy, he's working over at blip.tv. at least, i *think* he's over there.

2. What are you doing Friday?
ooh...we talked about this last night. and, of course, it's gone from my mind. something "new media" related. wow. not even thirty and can't remember.

4. Do you sleep with the TV on?
not on purpose...but sometimes that dog is so warm and he puts me right to sleep on the couch!

5. What are you doing right now?
writing a blog while i should be working.

6. What did you do yesterday?
work, dinner with friends, home to edit.

8. Do you have a job?
sadly, yes. :) i actually love my job. even though i dream of being a full-time writer.

10. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
yes. in the fifth grade. no. i'm not telling you why.

12. Have you ever crawled through a window?
hehe. yes. what a weird question! but yes!

13. Who knows a secret or two about you?
i don't have that many secrets. i find that if you share them, they're much more fun.

14. Can you handle the truth?
*sigh* oh...aaron sorkin...how you must love knowing that your words have become part of everyday speech. yes. i can handle the truth. but that scene still gives me chills.

15. Are you too forgiving?
no. in fact, i'm rather vengeful. it's a major flaw.

16. Are people too forgiving to you?
i hope not!

17. Olive Garden?
I don't understand the question. I neither have an olive garden nor eat at them.

18. Are you closer to your mother or father?
that changes as I grow...growing up, i was much closer to my mom. and in college, i was much closer to my dad...now they're both equally important to me.

19. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
yes. i always thought i'd kill at being a social studies teacher

20. Do you have trust issues?
why do you ask? i'm not telling you! *she looks about, cagily.*

21. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
i did...but then he "bought the cow" (she shudders)...what a terrible phrase!

22. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
yes. something that comes of having too much drama in my soul. :)

23. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
i wept like a child at the on sunday. in front of eric and hank azaria. is that weird? rhetorical question. don't answer that.

24. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone?
ack! no thank you.

25. How many people can you say you've really loved?
depends on what kind of love. if you count my friends and family...a lot.

26. Do you eat healthy?
i try...but it's hard in new york city!

27. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
of course...you have to remember how much you (and your taste) have grown.

28. What are you listening to?
right now, the person in the next office...talking to a reporter.

29. If you could pick one person to disappear from the planet, who would it be?
the person in charge of the genocide in the Sudan.

30. Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
are there people who answer 'no' to this question?

31. How often do you go to church?
on christmas eve.

32. Speaking of church, are you going to heaven or hell?
i try my best

33. If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
my bff

34. What is your biggest fear?
homelessness. and cruise ships.

35. Are you confident?
never. but i have an excellent game face.

36. Are you a good driver?
depends on who you ask.

37. What will you be When you "Grow up"?
older and wiser.

38. Do you have any pets?
my dog, baxter

39. One person you're sure will be in your life years from now:
eric

40. One person You Miss?
my friend, Sarah, who moved from NYC to Denver in October. boo! come back!

things that suck...

here's something that really sucks. tobias funke's 100% good time family band kind of sucking.

when someone you don't trust lulls you into a false sense of security, and then reminds you that you're entirely too trusting in the first place. also, when other people in your life fail to see that behavior like this is real and unacceptable and thoroughly destructive. that sucks too. also, 97% heat and 80% humidity when the dog needs to go for a walk. that really sucks.

i just need to channel this into writing. take life and make it art. that's what they say, right? oooh...do i have fuel for this fire tonight!