I’m always thrilled to meet new writers. It’s so exciting for me because I still think of writers as these magical, otherworldly people who are special in every way. Yes. I know I’ve written books…but I don’t think of myself as a writer. You see…writers sit down and have the muse come to them. They are unique butterflies. They never write a bad sentence. And they most definitely get out of their pajamas before 3pm. I am none of those things.
Karina Cooper was introduced to me as a writer. Even better, a debut paranormal writer with Avon Books. Her first novel, Blood of the Wicked, is about witches. And soldiers. And the hero is named Silas. So I’m in.
In Blood of the Wicked, Jessie and Silas are faced with a similar decision: what is it they need – from life, from themselves, from each other! – to not just survive, but to live. The world has been set on its collective ear by… magic? Mayhem? Nature? No one knows, but the witch-hunting Mission is all too happy to stamp out the heretical men and women who certainly didn’t help matters.
And because she’s one of these magical writers, I find her fascinating. Even moreso now that I know that she has plans to survive the apocalypse. What she doesn’t know is that when the rapture comes (I’m told the date is October 21st now), I’m going to go hang out with her (Baxter is good with cats).
But she doesn’t have enough room for all of us, and since I called dibs on being her sidekick…she’s sharing with you: Eleven Things She Needs to Survive the Apocalypse!
So, as you can clearly tell, I’m a heathen who was not Raptured. The apocalypse appears to have given me a miss, which is extremely fortunate because I didn’t actually have this list of necessary survival tools until just now.
Why would I need it, you ask? Well, Rapture notwithstanding, it’s because catostrophic events that lead to a post-apocalyptic world where men and women are hunted down for being different have been weighing on my mind. I can’t imagine why.
“Oh, no!” you say, “Karina, you’re addicted to the internet! And anime! And good books and cherries and tea! How ever will you survive?”
Waaaaay ahead of you. With the help of my good friend Nae, I’ve come up with eleven things I need to survive an apocalypse.
1. Super Irish Breakfast Tea, by Stash Teas – Let’s face it. I’m a caffeine addict. Like, whoa. I love my coffee, I love my tea, and of all the teas I’ve ever had, this brand and flavor of tea is extremely rich, extremely dark, extremely strong. Plus, a bonus, I can get it in bulk! If I start collecting it now, I should have more than enough to see me through… what, you think maybe a month?
2. A cat – I am a crazy cat lady, after all. And every wandering soul forging a blazing path across barren wastelands needs a companion. Nae suggested I get two,because then I can breed them! (Did you know if that two cats are left to their own devices, they can – in those two cat’s lifetime alone – breed 420,000 cats? That’s 420,000 cats between parents, children, and grandchildren, even before the parent cats die. I am the crazy cat lady!)
3. A hunk – It really doesn’t matter who. I mean, if the mancandy survives the apocalypse, that’s great, but I wouldn’t want my poor, bereaved husband to have to carry all eleven of our things. Let’s get Thor to do it.
4. A journal – If I can’t write on my computer (who’s got the luxury of a computer when the world has gone to pot?), then I’ll need an outlet for all these crazy meanderings! Besides, where else am I supposed to record all those naughty thoughts about our traveling hunk?
5. Batteries – Lots and lots of batteries. I asked Nae why she suggested this one and she said, “Because you’re going to find lots and lots of junk that needs batteries, but not much that actually already has them.” Nae’s a smart girl.
6. A donkey – And why not? If the Post Man can travel around the world reciting Shakespeare with a donkey, then I’m pretty sure I can travel around reciting… Well, do you suppose there’d be much call for romance stories in a post-apocalyptic world? Anyway, regardless, we’ll need a donkey to carry stuff. Oh, wait, is that what I said the hunk was for? … Damn. This bears rethinking.
7. Goggles – Every cool post-apocalyptic girl needs goggles. They are simply de rigeur for any decent wasteland-crawling survivor. Am I right?
8. Post-its – In every color. Not only is this the only way I’ll be able to plot my epic romantic naughty stories, but I can use them as a marker. A sort of, “Karina was here!” Maybe my fans—well,those who survive—could use them to find me?
9. A weapon – The nature of this weapon would depend entirely on the nature of the apocalypse. Everybody knows that a rotary shotgun is the best defense against a zombie, but a baseball bat will do in a pinch. So will a lead pipe. However, against a chemical apocalypse, neither of these things is a great choice. In that case, my weapon might just be a bag full of syringes chock full of a suspicious looking liquid. It could just be
molasses, but they won’t know that. Only my cats will.
10. A rebreather – Because chemical warfare sucks. Also, sandstorms.
11. Books – It’s all well and good to write your own books, but as the Great Book Devourer, I can’t possibly subside on my books alone. From Regency to paranormal; historical to… well, I suppose if it’s post-apocalyptic it’s all historical. I gotta have them. That makes for one tired donkey! Bonus: books make excellent weapons.
There we go! There’s my eleven things I need to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. What about you? What are the things you need to tackle the apocalypse? Tell us in comments for a chance to win a copy of Blood of the Wicked! We’ll choose one lucky commenter on Friday!