I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, of course!
It’s a horrible, horrible thing we do to the men in our lives…so horrible, in fact, that in my house, we don’t go all out on February 14th like most couples do. Although, I should add that there’s another reason. I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I don’t like being forced into feeling like I *should* be in love. I didn’t like it when I was single, and I still don’t like it now.
So…instead of dinner and roses, Eric and I wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day but feel no pressure to love each other any more than any other day of the year.” I like it this way, because it gives a nod to this holiday that I used to hate hate hate, and at the same time doesn’t feel like a huge dramatic thing that we *must* do or else we obviously have to end our relationship.
To that end, I give you Ten Ways to Show Your Love on Valentine’s Day…Or Any Other Day…Without Making It a Thing. I know it doesn’t rhyme. But just go with it. :)
1) Write a note. I know. It sounds lame. But I find that when you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you tend to forget to tell your partner about all the things (s)he does that are awesome and make you love them that little bit more. Also, the love letter is a wonderful thing (I like to sneak it into Eric’s coat pocket, so he finds it during the day). So, here’s my theory: February 14th is as good a day as any to expound on your partner’s fabulousness. Of course, April 3rd is good, too. Or June 25th. Or any other of the 364 days in the year.
2) Rent a shoot-em-up. At some point, someone said Valentine’s Day movies are supposed to be love stories and you’re supposed to be all date-y…but the truth is, that’s only fun if it’s fun for *both* of you. Instead, buy tickets to something you both want to see. Or rent something that’s not lovey-dovey, but is fun anyway (I recommend The A-Team. Also, The Italian Job). Order pizza. Buy the Jumbo Popcorn. And have fun without feeling so pressured to be in love.
3) Get milkshakes. This happens to be my Valentine’s Day tradition. And by “my” I mean the singular, “my.” When I was in college, all my single friends would do milkshakes on V-day. When I was out of college, we kept up the tradition for years–even though many of us had boyfriends. Once we started getting married, husbands got to come along. Going out for milkshakes is old-fashioned and fun. For added cuteness, get one milkshake and two straws.
4) Cook dinner. Don’t get crazy and go out of your comfort zone…we’re not making this a thing, remember? But make something you both enjoy tonight. What’s your partner’s favorite? That’s the thing you should make. More importantly, you should eat it together. Not in front of the TV or with your kids screaming like banshees. And if your kids’ bansheeing cannot be stopped…may I suggest a little something for dessert to eat after they go to bed? Try these SUPER simple chocolate lava cakes…which you can premake and just throw in the oven before you want to eat!
5) Go old school. Get a box of Necco Sweethearts. Do your thing all day, have a normal, nothing special night. And then, while you’re cuddled on the couch, rock the “Be Mine.” For a naughtier ending to this scenario, get some Adult Conversation Hearts…
6) Smooch. This one is self-explanatory. But quality smooching time is a terrific gift in the middle of a busy February.
7) Make a plan to be in love on another day of the year. I know…this is a wild and crazy idea…but instead of Valentine’s Day, with it’s forced roses and it’s overpriced dinners, what about planning a date night for another time? How about March 1st? Or April 12th? I bet it’s easier to get a sitter…and you’ll have something lovely to look forward to! My suggestion? Cuddle up on the couch on V-day and make your plans for You-day. That’s “you” in the plural.
8) Take a walk. Yes, I know it’s February, and all signs point to this being the longest, coldest winter ever in the history of winters…and yes, it’s probably snowing RIGHT NOW…but sometimes, taking a walk, even in the snow, even in the cold, is as romantic as it gets. You’re outside, together, talking…and when you stop on the corner before crossing that street, or to admire the way the snow is falling through the light from the streetlamp…it’s just a perfect moment.
9) Those three little words. Sure, you say them. Plenty. But how about calling your partner up in the middle of the day and telling him/her out of the blue? Just because you thought about it? Can’t take calls at work? Text, email…or write a little note and time-stamp it. This is a good one to remember every day. Don’t ever skimp on telling someone you love them. It feels great to hear it when you’re least expecting it.
10) Smooch. I know, I know, I already said this one. But it bears repeating, don’t you think?
There you have it! Ten ways to celebrate with your sweetie without going overboard on February 14th…or any other day of the year. Do you have something to add? A mellow gift/experience for the 14th? Leave it in comments, and one lucky commenter will win an eARC of Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke’s Heart! I’ll pick the winner on February 15th!
And for more V-day festivity and the next stop on the Avon Ladies Valentine’s Day ring, head over to Katy Madison’s house!



February 1st, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Good list, Sarah!
February 1st, 2011 at 4:37 pm
I loooooove this and I couldn't agree more!
I'm a single mom of 4 kids and now we'll be going out on v-day to get some milkshakes and while they are screaming like banshees I'll give them each a smooch and tell them I love them.
February 1st, 2011 at 7:16 pm
This is such a good post, Sarah! I feel the same way–I can't stand forced shows of affection!! I want it spontaneous all the way!
On Valentine's Day, we include the kids in the celebration, too. (Some people may be aghast at that!!). I do things like make heart-shaped pizza dough and a set up a bar full of good pizza toppings, and we all make our own pizzas. And then we'll have a yummy dessert, usually a homemade red velvet cake!!
It's all about love, and I love our whole family!! Chuck and I might go out afterward for a walk or a drink at a neighborhood restaurant, but that's about it.
Oh, one more thing!! When the kids were little, I always made giant Hershey's kisses out of Rice Krispy treats I'd press into a funnel and then pop out and wrap in tin foil. I'd cut a strip of paper and print on it in blue arial font, all caps, I LOVE…whoever got the treat" and pinch that into the top of the treat!!
February 1st, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Great post Sarah and I love your suggestions! I especially like the idea of making dinner. I buy into the Rachael Ray rationale that anyone can pick up the phone and make a reservation, but making the time and effort to make a meal really shows you care.
As for me, I still remember one Valentines Day when I was in college. I stayed home in my pajamas, watched P&P, and had a pint on Ben and Jerry's. As far as I was concerned, Ben, Jerry, and most importantly, Colin, were the best dates any girl could have. And I ended up having a better time than some of my friends did!
February 1st, 2011 at 9:29 pm
We don't tend to go all out on Valentine's Day either. We have two handsome boys and we like to do something as a family. We always cook a special dinner and have chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate covered Oreos. They love being our Valentines!
February 1st, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Love the series. My valentines day will be spent curling up with a good book…the perfect day.
February 2nd, 2011 at 2:18 am
Great post! I'm all for doing something simple on v-day, and this year especially because money is tight. I have a heart shaped cake pan and my hubby's fave desert is chocolate cake with no icing, which I don't usually make because to me, no icing is just wrong! My plan is to make him one for v-day, simple, easy, and heartfelt.
February 2nd, 2011 at 5:13 am
A nice list and good idea. Valentine's day is great in theory but had just become too much. If you're single (whether by choice or not) you're almost made to feel like crap & all "date" & "romance" things are overpriced and hard to get into. (Feel similar about new year's eve). When you get down to it, the idea is to spend some time together and appreciate it. Stressing over it can be a real buzz kill. :)
gamistress66 (at)
aol (dot) com
February 2nd, 2011 at 7:34 am
Good list! I especially like #7, to celebrate on another day. It sucks when Valentine's Day is on a weekday like this year.
What I do is buy Valentine's Day chocolates after Valentine's Day at a discount! It's still good chocolate, after all, and I end up with more.
ironss[at]gmail.com
February 3rd, 2011 at 4:07 am
Great list Sarah! I think that you should show and tell your significant other you love them any day of the year.
For those of us that are single, on Valentine's day, you can sometimes feel more lonely because you are surrounded by couple's in love.
So I think that single ladies should get all their single lady friends and go out to dinner together. Celebrate friendships. I did that a few times and had a blast.
As for couples, cooking a romantic dinner is better than making reservations.
brwneyedbeauty@verizon.net
February 3rd, 2011 at 6:07 am
Great post!
For Valentine's Day a couple could just spend a little more time than they usually do together. They could help one another cook dinner, then sit down and watch a movie together. It's more easy going, comfortable, and romantic. It's something simple and inexpensive. Sometimes the littlest of gestures and actions can mean a great deal more.
xia_thao95@hotmail.com
February 4th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Make a "Top Ten" list of reason you love him!
February 4th, 2011 at 4:13 pm
Excellent list!
I give my husband and our daughter very small surprises — bit of good chocolate and a book. Then we have a nice dinner and dessert at home with the good china and wine for me. Quiet but really, really refreshing.
February 4th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
My boyfriend and I normally play videogames together on Valentine's Day. Nothing says I love you like fighting zombies together.
But we also take the day to do stuff for our friends. Last year a good friend of ours was upset because his girlfriend was going away to work for a month and he wouldn't be able to call or talk to her at all. So we planned a sneaky trip and showed up on his doorstep on Valentine's with chocolates and took him out to dinner to cheer him up.
February 4th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
My parents always made Valentine's Day about us kids. Each year, we'd wake up to see a Snoopy Whitman Sampler by the bed along with a card telling us that we were loved. This continued all the way through school until we left for college.
I have already started the tradition with my kids and plan to do it each and every year.
February 4th, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Thanks for the list Sarah. I may have to try a few of these out.
My husband and I had our first date on Valentines day 6 years ago. We went to the movies saw Hitched. So every Valentines we cook dinner, watch Hitched and play Scrabble[our favorite game, I always win :)]
aggiegirl11187(at)yahoo(dot)com
February 4th, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I love your list! Thank you!
This year we are planning just to go out and do something fun for our Men that we will also enjoy by going on a quadruple date, 4 couples and going shooting, or paintballing or fast cart racing or laser tag.
Should be fun,
Jena
February 4th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Awww, VanessaD – what a great attitude, you must be a great mom!
Love the list. My DH is having some health issues now, so watching a movie at home is probably what we'll do!
February 4th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I loved the list Sarah, my favorite ones were number 6 and 7 ;)
February 4th, 2011 at 7:09 pm
I think it's important to love yourself! Lots of people forget to spoil themselves (not me, I'm too good at it). Buy a little treat for yourself that day. Indulge in an issue of People Magazine or a new BOOK :-). Get yourself a massage or a DVD of your favorite movie. Even just allow yourself a nap when you normally wouldnt. Single or not, don't forget to love on yourself a little.
February 5th, 2011 at 5:49 am
On Valentine's Day, I usually spend the day with my 4th grade students and I always use holidays as an excuse to bring art into the classroom! We do elaborate art projects and I read aloud silly stories and have the students write poems for their friends or family members. It's always the one student who writes one for me that makes the day even brighter.
I am 27 years old and have never be in a relationship on Valentine's Day. Rather than letting it get me down and dwell on my apparently permanent residency in Single-town, I try my best to cherish the things in life that I love…like my students, my family and my friends!
February 6th, 2011 at 2:12 am
I completly agree with you. I try to pick random "Hot Date Nights", with my husband all the time. One thing I've been doing is buying my husband his favorite candy and putting it on top of wallet or pillow for him to find as a surprise.
I love all you books, I'm a huge fan!
Dee
diva2cute4u@yahoo.com